“Hooligans” Ruin Assassins Game

Ah spring is in the air. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining…and you’re hunting down your classmates.

As the school comes to a close it’s time for the class of 2015 to finally get their shot at the annual Indian River game of “Assassins.”

Many of us had witnessed this game played every year from when were freshman and couldn’t wait to get a chance to stalk outside our best friends house and ambush them with Supersoakers.

For those who are unfamiliar with the game, it goes a little something like this..

You and a partner of your choosing both pay $5 each to play, money which then is added to a pot that goes to the winning team. After every team has payed, you and your partner are assigned another team as your targets.The goal is to get your targets out or “assassinate” them by spraying them down with a water gun or striking them with water balloons. Once you get them out their targets become your targets now and so on. The remaining team wins the pot which totaled around $310 this year.

Certain restrictions apply, like school grounds are off limits, athletes are safe at games and practice, and everyone is safe while they’re at work.

Meaning that leaves a lot of room to get as creative as you want with your partner. From paying your targets mom to let you hide in their room to camping outside their house for hours in full camo. The opportunities go as far as your imagination. And as the bodies start to drop the game only gets more and more intense.

Sounds like a great time right? Sadly the class of 2015 can only imagine the full embrace of the “assassins” game now. Because after only four days of open season on each other, the game came to an end by a unanimous decision between this years two organizers, Kenny Brennan and Meghan Kuba, on the advice of Principal Mr.Decker.

After reports of parents screaming at kids to get of their property and following students who were “stalking” their child, it became clear no one was playing the game in the manner it has always been intended. Not to mention the cops were involved in more than one unconfirmed incident.

Once this all came down, Mr. Brennan and Ms. Kuba felt they had no choice but to cancel the game and offer to refund everyone’s money.

When asked why he thought the class of 2015 ruined the game so quickly, Mr. Brennan only had to say “Because we’re all hooligans….we should have known, with how many people were playing, that something stupid would happen.” This seemed to summarize the behavior of the players who chose to threaten each other rather than just have some good old fun at the end of their senior year.

It surely is a shame the game came to such a sudden end in less than a week’s time, with several team showing promise to take home the pot this year. Many of us [Ed note: disclosure, the author was a participant] still had fun.  But we’d be lying if we didn’t mention that we weren’t somewhat relieved to be able to finally leave the house without sending your younger brother out first to check the yard and follow it up by sprinting to your car.

As of Friday, it’s been announced that every player has two options, to either have your money refunded or to donate it to the senior class to go towards the end of the year BBQ (which might not happen due to funding anyways). So we encourage you to donate your money to help your classmates enjoy this celebration hopefully coming up in the next few weeks.