NYC Ferret Ban: Is This The Face Of Danger?

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Hector Amezcua

Ferrets: clearly a dangerous and deadly animal that must be BANNED in NYC...

Sierra Cullum, Senior Wildlife Correspondent

Did you know that domestic ferrets have been illegal in NYC since 1999? Sadly, that little bandit-like face is criminal in the Big Apple. Before going into their possible redemption by the mayor Blasio, here are the supposed reasons why ferrets are illegal in NYC as of now:

Misunderstanding #1: Ferrets are vicious and pose a threat to infants children

Yes, shockingly enough, if you leave your ferret and an infant together, one of the two may end up unhappy. Sure, the baby pulled the ferrets tail, maybe grabbed it by the fur and tossed it around like he does with one of his cute stuffed animals in the toybox, but is it anybody but the ferret’s fault that the child got bit?! What kind of animal defends itself when being played with by such an innocent being? Of course the ferret knows that the infant isn’t out to Purposefully endanger its life, right?! There you have it. Ferrets and unsupervised toddlers don’t mix. Just like any other animal (or any loose change) and an unsupervised toddler don’t mix, but that’s beside the point.

Misunderstanding #2: Ferrets can have rabies

Now That’s a horror movie to replace Cujo: Slinkey, the rabid ferret. He’s foaming at the mouth because his owners didn’t vaccinate him with the readily available ferret rabies vaccine… Maybe because there is no record of a ferret ever passing rabies to a human being in the first place (according to NYCferrets.com)? But that’s no excuse! It really isn’t. Vaccinate your ferrets. Also, vaccinate your St. Bernard, too. And your pet rooster.  This is totally a legitimate reason to make an animal illegal. Now, lets round up all the domestic dogs and cats to make things fair. A world without warm-blooded mammals is a world without rabies, undisputed! Of course, this also includes bats (they eat mosquitoes!!!), and y’know, us humans.

Misunderstanding #3: Ferrets may get loose and start feral ferret colonies in NYC

That takes the cake. Feral ferrets in the city is definitely a high risk issue anywhere in the U.S.! Just because there is absolutely no record of undomesticated ferrets running amok in any of the 50 states doesn’t mean it’s not an incredibly serious threat! I mean, come on, just because there hasn’t been a single report of ferrets multiplying in the wilderness doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be illegal because people are afraid that this completely unsupported and unheard of threat might happen!

Misunderstanding #4: Ferrets are wild animals

Although ferrets have been domesticated for over 2000 years according to a similar article by CNN, and although some ferrets legitimately cannot survive in the wild (according to NYCferrets.com), the argument that ferrets are wild animals cannot be disputed at all whatsoever on any level. Just look it up. The definition that google provides when you type in “wild animal definition” reads as follows: A wild animal is defined as an animal which lives in nature (is not provided shelter by a human), is responsible for getting its own food and water (is not provided food or water by humans), and is not cared for by humans.

In other words, ferret. Duh. Just look at the facts! Or, rather, disregard them completely…

Misunderstanding #5: They’re just like tigers

If you can’t have a lion cub in your guest room or a hippopotamus in your bathtub, you should not be able to have a ferret in your living room. This is common sense, people. Come on. Pet crocodile, pet king cobra, pet chimpanzee- despite the overly minor differences between the ferret and these other banned animals, they’re practically the same thing!

To conclude, the ban on ferrets is based on unsupported “evidence” that has been factually disproven by experts such as animal humane societies, veterinarians, and many more. The fact that the ban on ferrets still commenced when faced with so much opposition from the informed part of the public says a ton about how our government and democracy is functioning in this country.

Don’t take this reporter’s word for it, though! It was incredibly interesting to research the facts and get to know the reasons behind the outlawing of ferrets in NYC, and the reader is encouraged to check out the issue more deeply as well. The mayor of NYC is thinking about finally lifting the nonsensical ferret ban, and as far as this reporter’s opinion is concerned, hopefully ferrets will be legalized in NYC soon!